Women Rowing North By, Mary Pipher

I found this book to be thought provoking and poignant. As an aging woman, I could not get enough discussions on mental health-authenticity-real life stories-gratitude-nature references-empathy-humor-friendship-cultural and kitchen table wisdom.

The book is part memoir, a journal, a discussion on the aging process and the ways in which culture and societal norms ignore us, paint us as doting grandmothers, who are better off recessing into the woodwork, rather than challenging us to speak up and out. She describes aging as navigating life's currents and flourishing as we age. "As our bodies age, our souls expand."

"To grow into our largest best selves, we must be able to claim our own lives. We need to sort out what we truly desire and then go for it.'

In the introduction to the book, she writes, in reference to the aging process, "To be happy at this junction, we cannot just settle for being a diminished version of our younger selves. We must change the ways we think and behave. This book focuses on the attitudes and skills we need in order to let go of the past, embrace the new, cope with loss, experience wisdom, authenticity and bliss." 

She makes some very, very good points such as, with each new stage in life, we 'outgrow' strategies that worked for us at an earlier age. "If we don't grow bigger, we become bitter." She recommends expanding our capacities to cope, and describes growth as a qualitative process.

Mary does present 'happy stories' of people overcoming tremendous physical and mental health hurdles to reach to the other side of despair, contentment...living a fulfilling life. She does profess to being a proverbial caretaker (oh yeah...we get it) which carries a heavy weight throughout the book, most likely for her and we as, readers. I did see her as the Grandmother in charge, nurturing, caretaker extraordinaire, which I found difficult to relate to, and a tad bit condescending.

Aging is a painful (literally) process. There are no quick solutions to life long questions. She does tend to gloss over the narrative, as a way to circumvent a deeper problem. For instance, she states we can all 'orchestrate' bliss. Its a shallow point to a much larger issue-how can we truly 'feel' bliss rather than arranging it.

I found some chapters to be more helpful than others. But overall, I found the book to be inspirational, and as a way of seeing aging as earned wisdom. "We have weathered strong storms and hold a long view of life's journey."

She is a Clinical Psychologist specializing in women, trauma, and the effects of our culture on mental health. She lives in Lincoln, Nebraska.