Friday, May 10, 2019

Happy Mothers Day! Five Poignant -Non Fiction Books on Motherhood




Blue Nights By, Joan Didion

In Joan Didion prose, a beautifully written book, that explores the textures of motherhood, life with her husband John Dunne, the life and unexpected death of her adopted daughter, Quintana Roo.

Ms Didion reviews her life with her husband and daughter, and focuses intently on the trials, tribulations and challenges of parenting. "This book is called "Blue Nights" because at the time I began it, I found my mind turning increasingly to illness, to the end of promise, the dwindling of days, the inevitably of the fading, the dying of brightness." Its a life review in questions, as she contemplates growing old, her fears, thoughts and doubts.




Mother Is A Verb, By, Sarah Knott

This newly released book on Motherhood, written by Historian Sarah Knott provides a historical interpretation of Motherhood from the Seventeenth to 20th century. Beyond medical jargon, Ms. Knott brings a comprehensive perspective from Cree and Ojibwe women, to old world wisdom of Appalachia to New York City to London's East End. It's an artist's narrative of the visceral aspects of motherhood; she reads diaries, records, medical records, first person narratives, items of clothing, her personal experience.

"Perhaps the best way to explore the pasts of having a baby is to put grand narrative aside, and pay attention to the fragments and the anecdotes. Perhaps the best way to explore mothering's many pasts is to build a trellis of tiny scenes, pursuing the many different actions involved. Conceiving, miscarrying, quickening, carrying, birthing. And then, cleaning, feeding, sleeping, not sleeping, providing. These make up the visceral ongoingness, the blood and guts of being "with child." The verbs."

"Historical forgetting leaves holes in the fabric that binds us. Things that seem natural only by force of repetition too easily take on a false status. Appeals to old, mistaken certainties, or to universals, stand uncorrected. How things are now too readily becomes how things were and should always be. It's not healthier to forget, to lose the past; historical remembering makes matters bigger and more open-minded."

This was a refreshing read on the realities of motherhood. Although it clearly offers an 'academic' experience, I found it refreshing to read a truly global perspective.




The Mother of All Questions, By Rebecca Solnit

Rebecca Solnit is one of my favorite authors.This book a follow up to her National Best SellerMen Explain Things to Me. The initial focus of the book was inspired by a question she received, when she was discussing the works of Virginia Woolf. During the question period that followed, the subject that seemed to most interest a number of people was whether Woolf should have had children. Ms Solnit, is familiar with this line of questioning, as she does not have children either.

"Part of my own endeavor as a writer has been to find ways to value what is elusive and overlooked, to describe nuances and shades of meaning, to celebrate public and solitary life."

The line of questioning was an endless drill of 'why don't you have children" and no answer given was satisfactory. Beyond this mantra, its a wise and woeful discussion of misogynist views and the trial and tribulations of navigating the waters.



Heart Berries By, Terese Marie Mailhot

This is a poetic memoir of a writer who begins with a "notebook" in a treatment center and candidly explores her life with heart wrenching detail. Its a tribute to her Mother, a social worker and activist. Ms. Mailhot grew up in Seabird Island,on British Columbia on the First Nation Reservation. She identifies herself as a Niaka'pamux, part of the Indigenous First Nation's people of Southern British Columbia.

I LOVED this book. As Kyo McLear describes, its "ache and balm. It's electric honesty and rigorous craft." As Ms. Mailhot deftly describes her life which she describes as "maltreated." She writes to explore the pain and acknowledges, that her memory is gilded with pain, imagination and what we choose to forget. "I know the math of regret and nostalgia."

She explores her culture of indigenous people, motherhood, love, relationships, mental illness and discovers her voice through the pleasures and pain.

"The thing about women from the river is that our currents are endless. We sometimes outrun ourselves."



MOTHERHOOD By, Sheila Heti

Ms Heti describes the gains and losses of Motherhood in a frank, exploratory tone, as she grapples with the choice herself. I enjoyed her previous book, "How Should a Person Be" as well. In making life decisions, Ms. Heti uses the pen to write through her feelings in a journalistic form.

In her late thirrties, as her friends are discovering the 'beauty' of Motherhood. She feels doesn't feel the same compulsion and begins to question whether she will ever have children. She is clearly ambivalent and struggles with the question.

"To go along with what nature demands and to resist it-both are really beautiful-impressive and difficult in their own ways. To battle nature and submit to nature, both feel very worthy. They both seem entirely valuable."

The author acknowledges its a controversial subject to discuss and there is much that is often left unsaid. I admire her willingness to speak openly of her fears and to put the question 'out there' when some people feel the question she not even be asked.



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